Perhaps the most significant early barrier to any relationship is one that some ever see happening: the end honeymoon phase. That initial charm begins to fade, the rush you had when your spouse entered the space disappears, and everything just looks less interesting.
When you’re caught up in a completely new relationship, it’s difficult to imagine that this could ever happen, but it is pretty tough to avoid really. Meaning that it takes people by surprise, making many to confuse the end of the honeymoon phase. For the end of their whole relationship, to mistake the reduction of enthusiasm for the loss of love. And that means that lots of people are giving up on good relationships merely because they have made the natural change to the next level and things have changed slightly.
So, what’s going on when you begin to feel like this? How do you tell if your relationship facing issues or is experiencing natural changes? Also, how on earth are you meant to used to it and have your relationship going?
How do you know the honeymoon’s over?
The honeymoon period is likely to last up to one year. The connection still feels new and interesting, and you are always discovering new things about each other and having first adventures together. But there comes a phase when you have done all that stuff together. You feel as though you know your spouse inside out. And then the unthinkable happens: you are feeling bored.
That individual that was so interesting a few months ago is suddenly there every day. And it feels like they have been there daily for an extremely long time. There’s no more thrill from regarding them as they are always around you. Boredom results in challenging your own feelings. Definitely, if you felt as strongly for them, you would not feel bored! Nothing has changed, so it has to be your feelings for them.
But if your feelings are disappearing, then that is it. They’re definitely not the one, so you might as well just give up.
Perhaps you start thinking about other men and women. You miss those exciting days of finding a new individual. But surely you could have that again with somebody else, and this time you could make it permanent. This is only increased by the second reason the honeymoon phase surely comes to an end: you know very much about your present partner.
And by that, we don’t mean their pet’s name or favorite their color. You know when they are drunk, they snore. You understand that they have offensive taste in sitcoms. And, to borrow from John Cusack at High Fidelity, you know it isn’t all lipstick and lingerie: you need to confront her regular, boring, cotton panties that she leaves on the floor daily.
But that girl that looked at you in the bar last night? You do not understand any of that about her. We bet she only ever wears matching lace panties, watches Arrested Development and retains her snoring to a minimum. She is still perfect.
This is, of course, bullshit. But that doesn’t stop you from thinking about it. Even as you kind of know, it’s bullshit. It is just that irresistible bullshit. Your girlfriend is flawed and dull, and that girl you don’t know is probably perfect and exciting.
The Starting Of The End, Or The End Of The Beginning?
So maybe you are considering other girls (or men), or perhaps you’re just considering returning to the single life for a short time. In any case, it seems like you just might do it for the wrong reasons. Sure, there are lots of reasons. Perhaps you’re truly incompatible (mainly if her preference in sitcoms is that bad), or perhaps you’re annoyed because, you know, she is actually dull. But do you know what issues are, and what the natural progression of the relationship?
Well, for one, have a think about what the issues are. By way of instance, say you are bored. Is it the connection that’s boring you, or her? Then we can cope with it, but the latter could be a real issue. It is one thing to be annoyed as you are spending Friday night on the couch watching movies together again, but it is a whole other matter to be bored because any conversation with her puts you to sleep. You don’t need to date a soporific.
Get The Honeymoon Back On Track
But if thinking matters over still leaves you in uncertainty, perhaps it’s time to get a little bit of real, traditional problem-solving. Try some of the following relationship tips, and if they don’t help, then perhaps your difficulties run a little bit longer.
Get a little space (and time) — You cannot really emphasize this one enough, particularly if you’re feeling bored from the relationship. You’re seeing each other too much, or perhaps it’s just been constant for long. Either way, staying away from each other for some time might help you understand how much you enjoy being together.
If you are never apart, after all, you cannot miss each other. This may mean taking a week of not seeing each other, or two, or it might mean scheduling a day or two of ‘me-time.’ Just be mindful of how you phrase this, as asking a little bit of time alone could seem extremely like a break-up if you are not careful.
Go on a Second First Date — This is not supposed to be paradoxical as it seems. The aim here is to retake a bit of that ancient magic by simulating that new relationship feeling. Dress up a little, stick on some cologne and do your best to impress each other, just like you used to. Sure, these days, you are comfortable hanging out on your pajamas and eating ice cream from the tub together, and that is great, but which makes a bit of an effort for each other will remind you of why it is worth try.
Do Something New And Different Together– Fundamentally, do anything new. Together. It doesn’t really matter what you will do, though it’s apparently making sure that it’s something you both want to do. The main thing is that you are doing things as a couple that you have never done before, reminding yourselves a long-term relationship needn’t mean looking into the depths of doing exactly the same thing, daily, forever — it’s still possible to try new things. And you can keep trying new things if you get tired of current new things and want some new stuff. Then some other new things. And so on.
Get Some Perspective — Obtaining an external view of your relationship might be just the thing to remind you of everything you may be about to give up on. This is very great if you’ve got a trusted female friend to turn to, who may just give you a much better feeling of how the relationship appears from the outside, and how it may look from the girlfriend’s perspective.
Liven up the bedroom: This may come as no surprise, but the bedroom is one of the best methods to return a little to the initial excitement. You probably started the relationship introducing each other to new things, discovering each other’s tastes, and general experimentation.
However, now you know what you enjoy and have settled to the sexual equivalent of purchasing a pepperoni pizza each and every time. Suggest to your spouse that you try new things, whether it’s stuff you have been thinking about for some time or something that had not crossed your mind. Even if it’s as easy as trying a new position. It recreates that feeling of chance, which makes youthful relationships so thrilling.
Some many red flags and dealbreakers just pop up when the honeymoon period is over, such as essential incompatibilities and how your partner responds to battle. These are things that lead to unfolding over time.
But it’s essential to discover the positive things about your spouse when the honeymoon period has ended. According to specialists, if your spouse does the following things after the honeymoon period is over. You might have found “The Perfect One.”
1. Always Try To Keep The Relationship Moving Forward
Contrary to what the latest love stories movie might indicate, love is a choice. Implement that, and you will perfect it. Your spouse will be “The One” if they make a conscious effort to be that person for you. That means, they will keep working in the relationship, they will prioritize romance, and they will find ways to continue to the love you have for one another. They understand relationships need nurturing to maintain, and they will keep putting in the effort to make things work.
2. Share Their Feelings
Whether they are feeling happy and in love or sad and hurt, your spouse ought to be fine with sharing their feelings with you after the honeymoon period has ended. In a real relationship, someone should have the ability to share feelings, ideas, and advice with their partner on a deeper level. If you would like a strong emotional bond with your spouse, they need to be exposed and open up.
3. Show You Their True Self
In the initial stages of your relationship, it is common to put the only best version of yourself. But that can only remain for so long. When the honeymoon period is over, your spouse should be entirely comfortable being their authentic selves around you if they are really “The One.” This is very important for building confidence in the relationship.
4. Accept You For Who You Are
We all have our little quirks, habits, and behaviors that can annoy other people. After the honeymoon period ends, it is easier for you and your spouse to begin discovering these things about each other. However, you can tell a connection is built to continue if those ‘annoying’ behaviors are silly or inconsequential to you, and vice versa. This shows your partner accepts and loves you for who you are. If they attempt to force you to change or get annoyed, this doesn’t bode well for their relationship’s future.
5. Work Well With You To Resolve Conflicts
Another thing to search for after the honeymoon period has finished is how your spouse deals with conflict and miscommunication. They need to work through hard interactions and hang in there when things get tough in the relationship therapist. If so, that is a good indication that they will be willing and able to work through potential issues in a longer-term relationship.
6. Make You Feel Like A Priority
At the start of a relationship, it is a common call to want to text and see each other all the time. However, as you become more comfortable with each other, that may begin to fade somewhat. If your spouse treats you as if they are still trying to “woo” you, then that is a great sign. As a spouse who will make you feel special long after the honeymoon period is over is a keeper.
This is not to say that they always make big gestures and love you 24/7, because that’s a really high expectation to put on someone. But if you notice that they still make time to make you feel like a priority in little ways, that is a great sign.
7. Stay Consistent And Positive
During the honeymoon phase, couples are usually on their very best behavior. As an example, you’re more likely to react to messages straight away. You are less likely to cancel at the last minute. If your spouse maintains the positive response once these initial lovey-dovey feelings have faded, it is a good indication that this is a pattern of behavior for them. Flexibility is a big deal if you value stability in your relationship.
The initial phases of a relationship are fantastic, but you can stay in that foam all the time. That’s why giving attention to your partner’s post-honeymoon phase behavior is essential. If they keep working on the things that make you feel like a priority and stay consistent. You may have found “The One.”